"Of course, it was better in 1990." It's the one thing that links the clubbing veteran and the seasoned traveller - an unshakeable conviction that everything was better at a vaguely defined point in the past. So if you are going around the world with the express purpose of visiting the legendary locations you've heard about, uncovering new and exciting music in its home country and meeting like-minded enthusiasts, it's something you're going to have to get used to.

It is, of course, total rubbish. Just as every traveller brings a fresh set of eyes to the world, so does the world of sweating, dancing and chatting constantly renew itself. Unfortunately, this perennial moan is the only thing that unites the concept of 'the clubbing traveller'. How, for example, do you reconcile these experiences...?

Bouncing in the perennially popular Banana Club in Cusco, Peru, to the background of head-drilling hardcore techno randomly mixed with local salsa. The floor has at least a metre of give in the centre, so even retiring wall-flowers standing meekly by the edge jig helplessly, catapulted into the air by the laws of physics.

Negotiating the sticky-floored Cocktails and Dreams in Australia's Surfer's Paradise, where every Tuesday punters claim one hour of free beer, and where ten bottles in that hour is not only common practice, but positively expected.

Laying on a straw mat on Hat Rin's white sand beach in Thailand, taking delivery of a cold melon juice and watching a flawless purple-bruise sunrise, while in the background a squealing voice declares: "harrrrrcore techno y'know, foo moon partaaaay" to the accompaniment of head-splitting firecrackers.

Negotiating the velvet rope outside New York's The Tunnel by peering over a bouncer's shoulder at a name on the guest list, only to find yourself at a party celebrating 'sadomasochistic art through the ages'.

No jaunt around the world is going to be the same. This guide can only give the merest hint of what is going on in every corner of the globe. The only advice you need, which is what every budding traveller wants to hear, is: get out there and define your own clubbing map of the world. But we all need a helping hand, so let's start with some familiar names...

The big three: Ibiza, Goa, Ko Phan Gan

Whatever your opinion of patchouli oil or The Grateful Dead, hippies do deserve our thanks for establishing three of Earth's grandest clubbing institutions.

Throughout the 1960s and 1970s, intrepid longhairs on their meandering trail round the world gradually tired of all that movement and stuck a stick in the ground. Ibiza and Goa in the 1960s, and Thailand's Ko Phan Gan in the early 1990s, became semi-permanent tie-died enclaves. All three offered the winning double of cheap accommodation and the opportunity to frolic naked, which may also explain their lasting appeal. These days, of course, all three are well-stomped parts of any young and excitable traveller's itinerary, but don't let that put you off.

Ibiza needs no introduction - the white isle can now claim to be the clubbing capital of the world without causing too many raised pierced eyebrows. If you've even a passing interest in the repetitive beat, you'll be familiar with the names if the main clubs - Ku and Pacha in particular are absolutely stunning, and that goes for the decor, the music and the bar staff.

Stay out of San Antonio if you don't like beer and football, make sure you see at least one sunset from Café Del Mar and don't fall asleep on the beach. The main season runs from June to September -www.ibiza- info.com/night contains unbiased updates and sensible advice if you intend a visit.

Goa, the former Portuguese colony on the south-west coast of India, is the original hippy port that is now home to backpackers looking to see if all they've heard is true. By and large, it is - Calangute is the 'party beach', but if you're planning a long stay it can become oppressive after a while. A good plan is to stay in Baga, a bit further north - it has all the beauty of Calangute, but more opportunities to escape the crowds. Don't expect groundbreaking music - a psychedelic trance regime is strictly enforced - but the white beaches, sunsets and transcendental conversations are all beautiful. Man.

Hat Rin beach on Ko Phan Gan is home to the infamous 'full moon parties', held, well, every full moon. Until fairly recently you could only get here by bribing a willing local fisherman to take you from Ko Samui, but you can now catch a ferry straight from Surat Thani on Thailand's east coast. Hat Rin is surprisingly small, and it's worth exploring the island, which comes close to the conventional descriptions of paradise. Back on the main beach, time seems to obey different rules - many people have lost whole weeks falling into the papaya shake, seafood and sun lifestyle. It's also not to everybody's taste - the scathing parody in Alex Garland's The Beach is transparently based on Ko Phan Gan, complete with travelling one-upmanship and some seriously damaged psyches.

Warning: If you come across someone at any of these three destinations who has been there since "the very beginning" (a sliding date that will tend to vary with each storyteller), don't try and get much sense out of them. You won't.

Where else can I go?

One of the world's more timeless clubbing events is The Berlin Love Parade - the one time that the city completely throws off its somewhat drab reputation and takes to the streets in style. The two days of homespun techno, sequins and Teutonic mayhem make you wonder where on earth these people get to for the rest of the year. It tends to take place around May, but not much forward planning is needed - accommodation is cheap and plentiful.

Forward planning, however, is vital if you're going to the Rio Carnival. This needs no introduction, running from Sunday to 'Fat Tuesday', 40 days before Lent (usually February or March). You won't be alone in the crowds of tourists, but it's guaranteed to leave a smile tattooed to your mouth for the duration of the full four- day celebration. The usual caution applies when travelling in Rio - don't carry large amounts of money, keep to the main streets and don't stray too far from the town centre.

The Sydney Mardi Gras also takes place around March; it's a time when the city's gay and lesbian population celebrate as only Australians can. Last year's highlights included a float made entirely from beer cans, a mobile lesbian wedding centre and a 'tallest tranny' competition. End the evening in the clubs of Kings Cross and Pitt Street and you'll have enough tales to bore your friends for weeks. Not one for colonials with a stiff upper lip.

Ayia Napa in Cyprus is fast becoming a world convention for garage and R'n'B every summer, with top DJs promising residencies. The town itself shares Ibiza's beered-up temporary clientele, but the atmosphere rarely goes beyond frisky. Seeing Mickey Finn and the Ganja Kru gleefully playing their raucous drum'n'bass to a small crowd of bewildered Cypriots is just one lasting memory - although now there are likely to be Ibiza-style crowds to match the music.

If you're heading to Japan, Tokyo's Shibuyaku district is unparalleled for ice-cool posing, superb homegrown techno and hip-hop and a strict 'no-dancing' policy - look cool at all costs. The clothes and styling are obsessively dapper, and you're also likely to pick up some superb outfits to mail home. Just don't expect them to be fashionable for a few years.

But look at the itinerary of any big DJ for the full story of clubbing around the world. Carl Cox, for example, visited Cologne, Paris, Albufeira, New York, Belfast, Finland, Denmark and Australia in the space of two months in early 2000. Keep your eyes open, and you'll find an unexpected bonus wherever you turn.

And always remember a golden rule - follow the heavens. If you're in a beautiful part of the world and there's a full moon or eclipse, someone somewhere will be hosting a party worth being at.

Dos

Like the best restaurants and the best guesthouses, the best clubs are not always listed in handy guides like these. You'll need to get out there and talk to people (locals, fellow thrill-seekers, the melon-seller, anyone). A truly unique clubbing experience is one of the only joys left in travelling that can't be exhaustively researched and printed in a book - in a year it will be gone.

Visit local record shops, whether it's DownTown Records on New York's West 25th St - a vinyl junkie's dream - or a tin shack booming out merengue in Cancun. Buy a tape in each one and you'll have an amazing set of memories, not to mention reams of unlistenable-to tat that 'sounded good at the time'. Given the right surroundings, even Chinese opera can gain a certain charm. And as at home, search out any magazines, flyers and fanzines - the quickest route to where you want to be.

The internet is now essential to the traveller - it's more up to date than the advice you picked up two months down the road, and chat rooms are often full of like-minded people only too willing to trade stories. www.clubplanet.com has reliable guides to the major cities around the world, and www.wwideweb.com/chatpro.htm gives you access to the busiest chat rooms, where you'll more than likely find like-minded nightlife fans.

One tip that may surprise you: carry a reasonably smart, crease-free outfit in your backpack, including shoes that aren't trainers. Heavy and annoying, yes, but if you're intending to go out anywhere grander than the local pub in a major Western city, they won't let you in wearing Birkenstocks and a 'Free Tibet' T-shirt. Australia, France and the US are particularly strict. It's less of a problem in Goa.

ID with a photo is also a must for city nightclubs - even a UK driving licence often isn't enough if it doesn't have a picture. If you're younger than 21 you may have the occasional problem, but an international student card with a slightly 'optimistic' birth-date will get you past most doormen.

Don'ts

Be careful that you're not the kind of 'clubbing traveller' who is also the 'selfish hedonist'. Don't throw your rubbish everywhere - beautiful places became popular for a reason. Respect local customs at all times - there may be a big discrepancy between acceptable behaviour at home and the country you're in. You may offend religious sensibilities and local custom by assuming the world loves to dance to loud drum'n'bass in Lycra and bikinis. Anyone who has spent time in Thailand or India, among a tolerant and religious people, will have seen their occasional dismay at behaviour they cannot condone. Be aware of your surroundings.

And, most importantly, remember that nightclubs picked up a seedy reputation for a reason. Tales of clubs in Patpong in Bangkok being locked until everyone pays to get out are not urban myths. Use your head - which brings us onto the next subject.

Drugs

Whether you like them or not, and it's impossible to deny that many people do, drugs are part of many clubbing cultures. But before you join in, consider the following facts carefully.

You're often nowhere near the kind of medical help you may need, you're not in a controlled environment, and you're more likely to be experimenting with something you haven't tried before. Most importantly, drug laws are usually harsh and, contrary to travelling rumour, often enforced.

One full moon party I attended in Ko Phan Gan in 1992 was thrown into perspective after two young German men died trying to swim home after some magic mushroom omelettes. And there's no fun to be had in foreign prisons, deportation, confiscated passports or massive fines. For more advice, read the chapter on In Trouble With The Law.

Working as a DJ

Working in clubs abroad is not as hard as you may think, although the pay is likely to be restricted to board and expenses. Budding DJs will need their own records, something that obviously needs planning. You're unlikely to lug mountains of vinyl around on the off chance, but most people looking for work leave them in a left-luggage locker and chance their arm.

Often the right accent, the right record names to drop and a convincing sounding DJ history (even if it's three nights at The Wheeltappers and Shunters, Armley) will go far in a world that often slavishly follows Western Europe and the US when it comes to dance music trends. Happily, though, a lot of the world has yet to discourage enterprising and talented DJs, a complaint you hear more and more in the UK. So if you know you can mix and entertain a crowd - rather than just think you can - give it a go.

The up and coming scene

If you really want to join the club of 2010, who will confidently and dismissively claim that "it was better in 2000", then you should know that Eastern Europe is rapidly destroying its reputation for bad haircuts and worse music. A refreshing lack of cynicism and pragmatic creativity is throwing up some enterprising and forward-thinking clubs. A recent trip to Talinn in Estonia revealed hidey-holes such as Club Enter - an internet café by day and drum'n'bass sardine tin by night. DJs returning to the UK are also talking of small but growing club scenes in Prague, Moscow, Warsaw and Helsinki.

Canada is also emerging from America's shadow - particularly in Vancouver. The happy coincidence of a snowboarding community, beautiful scenery, and the same idealistic anti-corporate vibe that spawned such places as Goa are coming together to offer more fine venues to dance until sunrise.

Have a great time

And don't forget - if you're setting off on a trip around the world there's much, much more to travelling than music and dancing. Make the most of every place you visit, see the sights, meet the people and take time to relax. Nightlife is all very well, but the world looks better in daylight. Have a great time.